she was pretty hurt when i called her to say tyler and i got engaged. i think she felt and sometimes feels that because i am five years younger, she should be getting married first. this is a pretty hard thing for me to deal with. she is my maid of honor and some times i feel that she isn't happy for me. those feelings are going away, and i think she has finally accepted that it is happening... in exactly six months from saturday.
but i am getting off track.
this is about jumping in. about having a guy live with you for two years, and not being engaged. because that's where my sister is at. she's ready for it one day and isn't the next. when i knew that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with tyler, i knew. there wasn't a moment of second guessing.
i stood on the proverbial bridge and jumped. because i knew our love was enough. enough to get through all of the good times and all of the bad. our love is my fairytale, and i have never second guessed it.
i wish that megan could jump, not calculate all the if's and but's about the future. but jump, because right now it's perfect. right now it is everything you've ever wanted. it's not about tomorrow and it's not about yesterday. it's about believing that your love is good enough, today. and that belief in love, in each other, in the marriage/relationship, is what gets your through tomorrow and the following day. it's what gets you through those shitty days where it doesn't feel like enough.
because you have right now. and that's it. you're not guaranteed tomorrow, so why are you focused on it? right now has to be enough.
and if we lost it all, our house, our jobs, our money... our love would still be there. it is our foundation.
i want that for my sister. and not for any other reason than i want her to feel what happens when you jump off the bridge and give yourself to someone so fully, to trust another person with your whole heart. it is the most amazing feeling.
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| Megan & I, Sister Love |
